Some dress for success.  I dress for recess.

The decline of western civilization leaves me strangely unmoved.

What I really need are minions.

Laughing on the inside.  Pretending to care on the outside.

This is me pretending you are normal.

Patience is a virtue but flipping someone off fells better.

I'm not aging, I'm fermenting.

Careful or you'll end up in my novel.

A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.

Just another poo flinging day in the jungle.

If idiots grew on trees this place would be a jungle.

Can't blame Bush now!

I'm sick of political messages-and I approved this message.

Heavily medicated for your safety.

Here I am.  What are your other two wishes?

Some days it isn't worth chewing through the restraints.

I keep on hitting the escape button but I'm still here.

I like small furry animals-with small fries, and a coke.

Some people have skeletons in their closet.  I usually put mine in the trunk.

I like poetry, long walks on the beach, and poking dead things with a stick.

Where's MY stinkin' bailout?

National Sarcasm Society-Like we need your support.

I've stopped listening.  Why haven't you stopped talking?

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but some people's opinions are shit.

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

My kid fought in Iraq so your kid can party in college

Machine Gunners -- Accuracy by Volume

A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy -- Blessed Be The Peacemakers

If You Can Read, Thank A Teacher. If You Can Read It In English, Thank A Veteran

Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism, and Communism, WAR has never Solved Anything.

Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem. - Ronald Reagan

Sure You-Can-Trust-Your-Government-Just-Ask-An-Indian

Veggies are not food. Veggies are what food eats.

Actually, the word is "lysdexic" but everyone says it sideways.

After long and careful consideration I have concluded that reality is overrated.

A gun in the hand is better than a cop on the phone.

I carry a gun because a cop is too heavy

D.A.D.D. - Dad's Against Daughters dating

I have CDO.  It's like OCD but all the letters are in the correct order.

Yes, this is my truck.  No, I won't help you move.

To err is human.  To forgive, divine.  Neither is Marine Corps policy.

I respect your opinion but mine is better.

One Big Ass Mistake America

Contrary to some opinions nobody owes you anything.

If you think healthcare is expensive, just wait till its free.

Peace through superior firepower.

I'll keep my guns, freedom, and religion-YOU keep the change.

People Eating Tasty Animals

My other auto is a .45.

Where is TR when we need him?

What's that whirring sound?  Just the Founding Fathers spinning in their graves.

I did not climb to the top of the food chain just to choke on a carrot.

9 of the 10 voices in my head told me to stay home and clean my guns today.

Seals -- Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club

Water-boarding is out, so kill them all!

Interrogators can't water board dead guys

Seals -- Travel Agents To Allah

Stop Global Whining

When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine Dead men don't testify.

The Navy Seals -- When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight

Death Smiles At Everyone -- Marines Smile Back

Marine Sniper - You can run, but you'll just die tired!

What Do I Feel When I Kill A Terrorist? .... A little Recoil

Marines -- Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It

Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon

Seals -- It's God's Job to Forgive Bin Laden -- It's Our Job To Arrange The Meeting

Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Brawl

One Shot, Twelve Kills -- US Navy Gun Fire Support

Do draft dodgers Have Reunions? If So, What Do They Talk About?

There are two rules for survival in modern society
1) Never tell everything you know
2)

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?

There are NO sucking chest wounds...ALL chest wounds suck."Actually, the word is "lysdexic" but everyone says it sideways.

After long and careful consideration I have concluded that reality is overrated.

 When it's all over, you better HOPE you've got some CHANGE left.

Government IS the problem

If you can read this you're in range

Beware the light at the end of the Tunnel, It might be a Train.

"The first step to getting on your feet is to get off your ass!"

It's "We the people," NOT "me the president."